Monday, February 4, 2013

Lawd Help Me I've Buckled Up!

With fashion, as with all things in my life, I am almost always late to the dance. Being cutting edge and trendy I have never suffered from.  I have done a decent job of staying up to date with hair (although, BDJ will never let me forget I lived during the time of and rocked a form of a mullet) and makeup and shoes., love, love, love shoes and I can't help myself, I am going to buy them.   I almost never leave a shoe store empty handed.  Clothes however I am a little slower to purchase.
For years I shopped almost exclusively clearance (or Clarance as my friends and I call that super cheap area).  I had the attitude that I could learn to love the flamingo pink Capri's with purple flowers...right?  Wonder Hubby has threatened my life scolded me over and over to stop "saving" money by buying stuff I don't love only to have it grow old in the closet.  I have always been lucky in that he liked shopping for me and every Christmas would almost always bring some current fashions. 

But alas, he has finally worn me down (that is where my shoe addiction actually started) and convinced me to buy what I love.  He has pushed me to walk into a store, choose what I like and never flip a tag (okay, he can do this, I still cannot).  I have since purchased pieces that I seem to never tire of  and that last (who knew?).  The one exception to this style of shopping is jeans.

I grew up wearing jeans only to do work around the house.  I wore them to ride horses or to feed them but not casually.  The jeans I did own were not fashion forward and not to be worn to school.  Although I grew up during the time of white tag Levi's I was cursed to have a His Chic factory and outlet store in my hometown.  Chic jeans were not the "in" jeans and did absolutely nothing for my figure. Apparently I grew up in a time that parents didn't understand the importance of your children fitting in so as not to warp their sense of self for life.  In today's world when kids do just about anything to set themselves apart I would have been a rebel wearing dress slacks and cowboy boots!

  EVERYBODY wore white tag Levis while I sported dress slacks and khaki's and for around the farm work Chic jeans.  Yes I was a huge fashion don't.  My first experience with Levi's was my senior year of high school when a friend insisted that I wear jeans for our western themed homecoming and I donned her white tag Levi's.  I don't really remember being impressed by them, probably because I knew it was a temporary thing and didn't want to get hooked.

Fast forward several years and I began my love affair with Levi's.  By the time I caught the boat, white tag jeans were history.  I have been faithful to Levi's for many years now, from pleat front to classic straight leg and boot cuts.  I wouldn't buy anything else.  Then several years back my Levi's weren't fitting quite the way they used too and they didn't seem to hold up as well.  I finally figured out it was after they were being made predominately outside the USA.  I could no longer walk into a store grab 3 pair in my size and check out, now it was a half day of frustration to get 3 pair made fairly similarly.  Now what?  Oh I griped and complained and put off purchasing new ones until the old ones were too sad for Goodwill but I didn't make a change.

Finding a new favorite jean would be time consuming, frustrating and what I feared most, expensive.
So this year Wonder Hubby and his band of buddies were apparently talking about what their wives wear (strange to me since my friends and I NEVER talk about what our hubbies wear).  During this conversation Wonder Hubby was introduced to the Buckle jeans concept.  The next time I was complaining about jeans he suggested that I purchase said Buckle jeans.  He approached this very quietly since they aren't the cheapest purchase you can make and knew it would set me off on a tirade about the cost of clothing.  Needless to say I scoffed at the idea of dropping $100.00 plus on a pair of jeans.  They are jeans people, jeans, but I do have to tell you the rumor is that they make your bee hind look amazing. 

I continue living in my old ill fitting Levi's with the occasional comment about how I have to take the time to spend a week finding new ones.  Then Christmas rolls around.  Remember how I said Wonder Hubby was really good about buying me up to date clothing?  Well, I began to unwrap and received cool boots and sweaters and BUCKLE jeans.  Holy crap!  My first thought was "great now what am I going to do with these, how can I return them without hurting his feelings?"  Somehow I knew to be politically correct and thank him and gushed about how he had spent WAY TOO MUCH  on them and put them aside. 

I was feeling very cow like that day and felt sure I would have my out when I went to try them on.  I just KNEW they would not fit or I wouldn't like them.  Later in the day I slipped away to try them on so that I could go ahead and break it to him and get it over with.  I began to pull them on and thought "too bad I will be taking these back because they really feel good" when I was fully in them I thought "DARN I LIKE THEM.....I ACTUALLY LOVE THEM."  Oh...remember me telling you about the rumor?  Well, its true.  I won't say they made my bee hind amazing but there was certainly improvement.   It just figures I would fall for jeans that cost a weeks groceries.  Now I was mad because my built in excuse wasn't going to fly but WORSE THAN THAT I didn't want to return them!
Buckle Jeans - Kate Straight

Before I could devise another plan my mother called, solely for the purpose of letting me know that she knew Wonder Hubby had purchased said jeans and had been thrilled to get me into something other than Levi's and that I "WAS NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES" to return them.  So I justified keeping the jeans with the notion that I was doing good by not hurting Wonder Hubby's feelings :) 

After a couple of days I had decided that I COULD NOT justify the cost of THESE JEANS that I would return them.   As it turned out the day I decided this was the same day Mini and I spent some quality time together in my newly purged closet with me trying on different clothing combos and her critiquing.  During this awesome for me, horrible for Mini time I tried on the Buckle jeans for her.  She really liked them on fact she did not hesitate to share that basically I looked like crap in my old Levi's and should never wear them again.  So it was that I became the proud owner of some Buckle jeans. 

I wore them a couple of times with cute little kitten heels and jackets and loved them!  But I had a problem. They were straight leg.  I like to wear boot cut jeans too and with the new info that my current jeans looked bad, I had a dilemma, I needed a second pair.  Thank goodness for Christmas money I was all set to purchase another pair of better than Levi's jeans.  

 First however I had seen some True Religion jeans somewhere while Christmas shopping and liked them so I did a bit of Google research. What I found out was the True Religion jeans I liked were about $300.00...yes you read that correctly.  At first I was appalled, I mean I am cheap....Goodwill, Clarance cheap and I still hadn't fully wrapped my mind around buy Buckle jeans but then I had to wonder.  If $100.00 jeans make your bee hind look better what in the world might $300.00 jeans do for me?  I wondered for about 30 seconds then decided I didn't need to get too amazing too quickly so I would just go with the lower end jeans! lol  The True Religion jeans will go on my wish list for when I win the lottery.

When I win the lottery....this is how my bee hind will look! lol

After a couple of days of selling myself on the idea that I deserved to treat myself and the constant reminders Mini gave me every time I put on the oh so offensive Levi's we went shopping.  I am sure all you hip blogging babes know all about this Buckle place but it was new to me and definitely NOT designed for my, ahem, age demographic. 

Talk about being a fish out of water....I was practically flopping on the floor.  To cut down on the amount of time I would have to spend here I grabbed the first available sales clerk (don't you know it was a uber hip guy younger than my son!) and told him exactly what style and size I needed.  I wanted this over fast.  Oh no, that would have been wayyyyy too easy.  First off he drags me to the back (this is the area they keep their cheap styles and naturally where I was shopping) and informs me they are phasing the style I wanted (naturally). 

 The good news is they have a new style that is close to the this is where it gets really humbling and I became woozy and all went a bit fuzzy.  According to Mini this young man was perfectly polite as he explained the features of the new style.  That is what she says.  What I heard was this twerp announce on the PA tell me that this style features the WIDER WAIST BAND....."you know it has the EXTRA STRETCHY WAISTBAND" he said, and "it is cut with a lot more room in the hips and thighs and is mid rise"  Really, did this guy think I hadn't read that this was the cut for a curvy fit!  Just so you know mid rise is NOT mom jeans it simply means the zipper is long enough for the zipper pull to lie flat, thank you very much!   I don't know about y'all, but curvy fit isn't nearly as offensive as a "lot more room!"  What I heard was "Hey really old lady, the elastic waist geriatric under your arm pit jeans are back here, maybe we can find some that will stretch across the wide expanse of your bee hind."    I think the other really hip guys in the front were just breathing a sign of relief that they weren't having to deal with the old hag.

So now I am completely mortified but I have to try on the "new style."  I had Mini positioned just outside of the dressing room to give me feedback but when I popped open the door Mini is upstaged by Uber Hip guy waiting to take a peak.  Really?  I can understand if you had a long legged 24 yr old in the dressing room but did he really have to take a look to "help" me with fit?  I have let on select people see me try on anything in years!   At my age, how things look on is only the beginning of the buying decision and fit doesn't always means how the item hugs or doesn't hug curves.  For me fit has to do with how many things I can do in the jeans, can I sitCan I squat down to pick up dust bunnies, etc?  CAN I BREATH?
So Uber Hip guy stands one hand on hip, one finger beside his mouth, looking and thinking (probably about he should marry someone 20 yrs younger than himself so as to never have to deal with a wife in my age group) with a completely blank look.  I am asking Mini what she thinks hoping he will step aside and let us girls handle it when he steps in to access the fit and says the words that save him from the slow death I was planning....."I think you need a smaller size, see this area on the back of the thighs you are getting some bagginess!"  Redemption at last!!!  Okay, maybe he wasn't so bad.   He returned with some smaller sizes and I closed the door and began trying them on

As I am inside I overhear he and Mini talking about which type of Buckle jeans she likes/wears and does she need new ones.  If I am not mortified enough I hear her respond by telling him, "I'm a bargain shopper, I don't wear Buckle because I like jeans that cost $20.00!"  Wonder Hubby had tried to talk her into trying some to wear for special occasions but was shot done by a rant on the price.  This is her stance, yet she practically forced me into buying them by telling me how I should trash my other jeans, go figure.  

 Truthfully, I was relieved that she didn't start on how she would rather shop at Goodwill than anywhere or her rant about retailers in general.  Thankfully the smaller size fit perfectly (truth be told if I could have gotten them on but they didn't fit I would have bought them anyway because there was no way I would admit I needed the bigger size to this kid, I have a little pride you know).

Now sighing with relief I changed into my original gift pair to have them altered and I was feeling pretty good.  That is until I realized I hadn't brought with me the flats I needed them hemmed for and had to go barefoot which should have been no big deal.  It was then I realized just how bad my toenails looked.  Hadn't I suffered enough with this whole experience?  Did I have to be sporting flaking, grown out, faded red nail polish in a store filled with nubile young things with custom pedicures?  Oh yeah I was.  So I just grinned and nodded and agreed with whatever he said. 

 When said altered jeans arrive by mail this week it will be like Christmas all over again when I try them on and see if they are now hemmed to Capri length because I didn't pay attention and just tried to get the alteration thing over with.

So folks, that is the tale of how I became buckled up.  I have learned some valuable lessons from this. 
 1. Buy what you love.
  2. Be careful not to love the pricey stuff. 
 3.  If what you love comes from a store out of your age bracket, order online or better yet send your husband that started the whole mess

 Apparently paying for them isn't punishment enough for him.  Don't tell anyone, but I have a secret hope that someday, Levi's will fit me correctly again and I can return to my true first jean love.  Thanks for stopping in, have a great week!


  1. This cracks me up!! I definitely feel for you! I glad you found some jeans you like because I know it's hard to jean shop. I love to shop but NOT for jeans....I think I would almost rather go to the dentist! LOL! Blessings, Tammy

  2. I seem to have been on that same excursion and I am happy to say I was glad when you did not return them.

  3. This was hysterical. You hit the jeans conundrum squarely on the head. And now I have to have my $120 jeans tailored -- OMG!


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